You can have the last cookie

While dealing with my total colectomy, we had some very dark days. Days we felt weak and broken. We always had each other to lean on, although some days it felt more like we were equally propped up against each other and one strong wind could take us both down.

We have made it a long way from hospital stays, ER visits, blood transfusions and medication schedules. Those are all in the past. 

Many people tell me how strong I am but I am nothing without my support system. Most of you reading this have played some part in my recovery from life with colitis. My colon is gone, but there are still trials we learn and overcome every year. I do my best to tell everyone how I am not the strong one- I am a product of the love and support I get from all of you. 

When I was really sick, a sweet friend who is like a sister to both of us, organized a book of love and intentions. She was able to get written notes from a number of loved ones, cheering us on from all around the country. She presented it to us during a benefit show other friends hosted to help pay my medical bills. (Is this real life!? Who has friends like this?) I am extremely lucky to have all this support and love to get me though those darker days.

We could never repay you or thank you enough. In honor of all the love and support we've had over the years, we will be leaving meaningful sayings (including, "you can have the last cookie") that got us through those dark times, during our dirtbag roadtrip. The country could use a little pick me up. We hope to make someone smile. And if we do, please know you played a role in it, too. Thank you, thank you, thank you! 

Denied Worker's Compensation

Today, I received an email from my worker's compensation adjuster. In the email, she thanked me for my patience and then bluntly said, "there will be no claims paid."

I immediately sent it to my Human Resources department and the Executive Director. I had been talking to my old supervisor all morning about how difficult it is to forgive the woman who choked me when I feel that I have all the repercussions for the assault she did onto me. She assured me that the woman is deeply sorry and she hasn't been in the office until recently.

Of course, after the email, I was sobbing. I met the ED in the hallway who said, "HR will know how to appeal it. I'm sorry to hear that," as he cleaned his oatmeal bowl and quickly walked out of the room. I went to the HR's office- Empty. I sat on the couch and waited for her return from, what I assume was, her smoke break. "What's going on?" she asked as though she had been forced to say it. I told her I was denied worker's compensation and her response was, "Yeah, I got the email." Really? Then why'd you ask? Why else would I come into your office? Certainly not for a social visit.

We called WC and the adjuster said I was denied medical bill reimbursement because I did not go to WC approved doctors. I need a referral from the doc-in-the-box they send us to for Worker's Comp and preliminary drug testing. Even if I go now, they will not make it retro-active.

I went to that doc-in-the-box and saw the same doctor that evaluated my neck injury hours after the assault. We had a heated conversation where I learned that, despite my lack of a medical degree, I should have told him that I needed to see a therapist when I saw him in September. Then he would have referred me to one but now, he can't say to go to a therapist because I am already seeing one; he wants me to stay with this therapist because he knows the whole story already... He suggested I go back to my HR. Yes, the lady who told me to go to this doctor and asked me, "What do you want me to do? You act like I have some power in all this!" Human Resources at its finest.

I am calling every attorney I know, gathering all my documents, apply for government funded assistance because the company, that my organization pays to cover their employees after things like assaults, decided not to pay out money that has been paid to them for this exact reason.

When the assault happened, all the supervisors were happy to help and expressed how I "deserved" compensation for this attack. Now, no one feels it is there job to make it happen.

There is light at the end of the tunnel; This tunnel is just really long.

up up down down left right left right b a b a

I wish I had the cheat code to life. If I had 99 lives I would totally do everything "wrong" and see if I got different results because taking the safe route hasn't gotten me much.

I always look at the new year as a chance to start a new and forget all the bad stuff that happened the year before. When stuff goes down this early in the year, it makes it super hard to let the last year go.

The running tally of the bad stuff:
Laid off
Denied Unemployment benefits
House broken in/ TV stolen
Lost the baby
ER Visits
Hospital stays
Denied housing assistance
Car hit
*Drain pouch installed!

I really look at the lay off as the snowball that made all this happen. Is that bad? I have not forgiven them yet.

Maybe I'll go back to bed for the year. Hopefully, I'll wake up in a better place.

To be fair, I have a great family, wonderful friends, and an amazing partner for life. But what good is all that when you constantly have things to worry about and no time or energy to enjoy the company?

Happy New year!

Road trip with my new innards!

The trip to Ohio went well. It usually takes 8 hours but with a couple extra bathroom visits it took us about 9 hours to get there.

Not too much discomfort. Of course the hardest part was not over eating during the holiday. I think I did pretty well. There are always temptations but I at least have the luxury of rest. Whenever I feel overwhelmed or just couldn't sit up straight any longer, I just went to the back room and slept. I guess people don't expect much from you after surgery.

The highlight: Eli's grandfather lives across the street from an Amish family and my soon-to-be-sister-in-law looooves animals so of course she asked to ride a horse. I was second to mount up! I can't believe I got up there. This was a big beast. I made them promise to hold the reins during my ride but how much fun!

I guess I am getting back in the saddle!

This week I have also noticed a significant decrease in swelling. I am also down to a normal bandage instead of the gauze dressing. Slowly but surely!!

I can't wait for Christmas!

Ups with the downs

This weeks has been a roller coaster. I found out that, although Unemployment has been extended to 18 months, the great state of Georgia has not received the money to fulfill that bill. On the other hand, I got to say so long to my surgeon. If nothing goes wrong from here on out, we should never have to see each other again! :)

I do adore my surgeon and really admire his surgical ability but I'd much rather get on with my "normal" life. To say good-bye, I made a card in the shape of a butt that said, "Thanks! For saving my butt!" I thought is was appropriate...

I have been feeling so much better. According to Dr Nichols, I seem to be doing better than the average patient. I would say I go to the bathroom maybe 10 times a day, including twice during the night. The average patient is going more like twice as much. No more leaking or surprises. I do have some discomfort but nothing like colitis.

This week, I am gearing up for Thanksgiving! Family time and food. Who could ask for more?