Monday, October 17, 2011

Back to the grind

Last week I was offered another (temporary) position at work at the same rate. Because our offices are moving, they will hire me to aid in the moving- organizing, shredding, files... until the end of the year.

I have some apprehension about going back. The idea of the office where participants can just show up, frightens me. The other night I was thinking and preparing myself for going back as I laid in bed about to fall asleep. Before I knew it, I could picture myself moving a box in the corner of the office, turning around and seeing her. Blocking me from the door. And then I felt her hands around my neck again. It triggered a panic attack, as you can imagine. I woke up Eli and took a anxiety pill to calm me down.

Since then, I've been trying to rationalize the likelihood of that happening. I know it would be very unlikely. I know I can prevent it and I know if it did happen, I would be able to call out for help.

I am still nervous about going and thought about it all night.

Here's hoping!

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