Gone but not forgotten...

The last few days I've been throwing up after most meals. Not really sure why except that I'm not pregnant. Some think it could be a partial blockage. It could be another ulcer... I just want to eat something.

When in doubt, I always switch to liquid diet. No fun but it takes the pain away.

I thought when I got rid of the colon I got rid of the pain... Apparently not.

I'll see my family doctor tomorrow and really hope they don't have to poke my stoma.

Vegan cookies for the ostomate's soul

So, Eli is active in the community and as his supportive wife, I occasionally have to make things for his meetings. This week was a brain-storming meeting for his urban hikes and quite often the hikers or interested parties are vegans. If you know me, you know I CAN NOT LIVE without dairy! I love cheese way too much! But I'm happy to oblige the little vegans.

What I came across was not only a vegan friendly cookie but also a cookie that thickens up my stool. Did this little story just go south? Sorry, but I put ostomate in title... :) In my cookbook they are called Peanut butter-oatmeal rounds but I call them a little dollop of heaven.

Here is the recipe with the original animal products and the vegan substitutes.
3/4 cup butter, soften (I used mashed bananas)
1/2 cup peanut butter (I used smooth because nuts can cause blockages)
1 cup granulated sugar (I did half sugar half splenda)
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
2 eggs (I estimated two eggs worth of apple sauce)
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 & 1/4 cup all purpose flour
2 cups rolled oats (I don't really know what rolled oats are so I just grabbed some plain instant oats from the cupboard)
and the recipe calls for 1 cup of chopped peanuts but I didn't us them... blockages.

In a large mixing bowl beat butter (or bananas) and peanut butter on medium high for like 30 seconds. Add sugar, brown sugar, baking powder and baking soda- beat until combined. Beat in eggs (or apple sauce) and vanilla. Then beat in as much of the flour as you can then mix in any left over. Stir in the oats and peanuts if you are using them. Dollop a heaping tablespoon full about two inches apart on ungreased cookie sheet. Bake on 375 for 10-13 minutes. The bottoms should get lightly golden... Ummmmm Of course Eli made me put in some chocolate so we used dark chips and they worked out nicely.

Enjoy! :)

Colon Updated!

Thanks to Grandma Hazel for contributing to the colon fund! I am that much closer to paying for the removal of the pain in my butt!

I did my second exam last week and the radiologist said we are looking good. I should be hearing from the doc soon as to when we can set the date for surgery number 2! It can't be soon enough.

Thanks again Grandma!

XOXOX

Pumpkins are flowering!!

I'll get a picture up soon! I really hope I have at least one for Halloween this year! Otherwise we are going to have TONS for Thanksgiving!

Foiled Flange!

I had my first leak the other night. After a day of swimming and eating at my sister's, I was experiencing some serious stinging. That usually means the seal is breaking down and it is about time to change the flange (or wafer). Unfortunately, it was after eating all day so I was, to say the least, VERY ACTIVE! We tried to change it but no go...

I have adapted my wafer change to Eli not helping for all the times I need to do it when he isn't around. So, I prep everything and start to peal the wafer but only until the real sticky stuff hits my skin.

Well, the other night I noticed some darkness around the real sticky stuff... It was like a hole making it's way to my stoma! Because I was so "active", I just couldn't change it so I decided to wait until morning... BIG MISTAKE!

In the middle of the night I feel a drip down my side! I pretty much pooped on my stomach in my bed!!! IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT!!!

So, I got out of bed and started my solo wafer change in the middle of the night. Oh... it was so gross... I had to change my under-roos, my shirt and I couldn't change the sheets until Eli woke up!! So, I dropped a towel on my side of the bed and went back to sleep. Is that bad?

Vented Bag Retraction

Ok... So, I would never say anything bad about my bag people-especially my customer service rep Johnathan.

But this bag was not venting. So I called up Johnathan and told him my issue: I got 20 of the vented bags and it seems like they aren't doing their job. Is there some way to prep it?

He assured me I was doing the right thing and they are ready-to-wear right out of the box. He offered a suggestion as to why my bags are still puffing with air. He said if you have a large puff of air at one time, it could take minutes for it to filter out...

Ok, so the product is not faulty. Apparently I am just unusually gassy... ALL THE TIME!! Must be all those burritos. :)

Exposed

Last night, Eli asked if I would get up with him and have coffee before he went to work this morning. Of course I would. For some reason, today I didn't go back to bed, which is what I usually do when he makes such an atypical request. As I watched the Today Show, I was surprised to see a discussion so deeply intimate for me: Miscarriage.

For a long time I have not published my story of miscarriage. I'm not sure why. It was so personal for me and Eli and really, only a few family members knew we were expecting. I have talked about it- it's not like I am ignoring it. But to publish the story of my short pregnancy seemed like it made it available to anyone without discrimination.

Sometimes I can go weeks without even thinking about it. Once-in-a-while I'll hear a song that reminds me; I've come across the sonogram pictures and sometimes when I pass the spare room I think about all the plans I had to make it the baby's nursery. Little plans I talked to Eli about; costume ideas for Halloween to showcase my Buddha belly; they keep popping up in my mind randomly.

I still think about the day we lost the baby. I have experienced so much physical pain in my life but nothing compares to a miscarriage. It was such a sharp pain. It was so distinct. I remember the look on my sister's face when the doctor told us what we feared. I remember when Eli came home and we couldn't say anything to each other; we just embraced.

I have published the hidden posts from the pregnancy and hope it leads to some peace for me and anyone else needing the support.