I haven't written for a while. I wish I had an excuse. I don't really have anything going on except, what I call, "still healing".
I recognized that I am more embarrassed with my condition now that everything is tucked away and I look "normal". I can't point to something and say, "see- that is what is going on!" Since the beginning of this ordeal, I have said, "This will get me back to normal; the way I was before colitis." Now, I'm afraid, it won't.
I am still going to the bathroom pretty regularly; Maybe 10-15 times a day. I still have accidents while I sleep but usually only once every two weeks or so. I am going to the bathroom 2-4 times every night. It is really hard to have a good, uninterrupted, night's sleep.
I'm dizzy, in pain, tired, and, still, somewhat depressed. Eli and I have fortunately worked out issues that have come up. Our communication has gotten even better and we are able to laugh again. It truly is the best medicine.
... Got to go!
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Stress and Strain
During the holidays, I assume most people encounter more than the usual stress. Unfortunately, if you add a chronic illness to the mix, it doesn't get easier.
I have read pamphlets about "Taking Care of the Care-Taker" but there is still some difficulty understanding each other at times. I understand that he has to deal with real life (work, bills, hobbies) and when he gets home, he has to deal with a sick wife. That is a lot to take on. Any illness is a lot to take on for all those involved.
But no matter how strong people think the "sick one" is, life almost stops for them. And that can be just as unnerving. Imagine losing the most elementary of functions. Of course the last thing you want to do is create more work for those around you. So often, I feel, we take on more than we can handle. I guess if the care-taker does the same, you both end up stressing yourself out and disconnecting from the other.
I pride myself on my ability to empathize. But once in a while, I think I need to check in on myself.
I have read pamphlets about "Taking Care of the Care-Taker" but there is still some difficulty understanding each other at times. I understand that he has to deal with real life (work, bills, hobbies) and when he gets home, he has to deal with a sick wife. That is a lot to take on. Any illness is a lot to take on for all those involved.
But no matter how strong people think the "sick one" is, life almost stops for them. And that can be just as unnerving. Imagine losing the most elementary of functions. Of course the last thing you want to do is create more work for those around you. So often, I feel, we take on more than we can handle. I guess if the care-taker does the same, you both end up stressing yourself out and disconnecting from the other.
I pride myself on my ability to empathize. But once in a while, I think I need to check in on myself.
Road trip with my new innards!
The trip to Ohio went well. It usually takes 8 hours but with a couple extra bathroom visits it took us about 9 hours to get there.
Not too much discomfort. Of course the hardest part was not over eating during the holiday. I think I did pretty well. There are always temptations but I at least have the luxury of rest. Whenever I feel overwhelmed or just couldn't sit up straight any longer, I just went to the back room and slept. I guess people don't expect much from you after surgery.
The highlight: Eli's grandfather lives across the street from an Amish family and my soon-to-be-sister-in-law looooves animals so of course she asked to ride a horse. I was second to mount up! I can't believe I got up there. This was a big beast. I made them promise to hold the reins during my ride but how much fun!
I guess I am getting back in the saddle!
This week I have also noticed a significant decrease in swelling. I am also down to a normal bandage instead of the gauze dressing. Slowly but surely!!
I can't wait for Christmas!
Not too much discomfort. Of course the hardest part was not over eating during the holiday. I think I did pretty well. There are always temptations but I at least have the luxury of rest. Whenever I feel overwhelmed or just couldn't sit up straight any longer, I just went to the back room and slept. I guess people don't expect much from you after surgery.
The highlight: Eli's grandfather lives across the street from an Amish family and my soon-to-be-sister-in-law looooves animals so of course she asked to ride a horse. I was second to mount up! I can't believe I got up there. This was a big beast. I made them promise to hold the reins during my ride but how much fun!
I guess I am getting back in the saddle!
This week I have also noticed a significant decrease in swelling. I am also down to a normal bandage instead of the gauze dressing. Slowly but surely!!
I can't wait for Christmas!
Friday, November 20, 2009
Out and about
Yesterday I got my purple stitch removed. To celebrate, I went out with friends to hear Eli and the boys play some music. I was able to eat and sit through 3 bands! Bathroom visits:1.
I am still wearing a bandage- Doc says until it stops sticking to the dressing. I hope that is soon. I also can't wait until the swelling goes down. It has a little but some pants still don't fit right.
This whole no-colon-thing is really working out for me.
First road trip next week! :)
I am still wearing a bandage- Doc says until it stops sticking to the dressing. I hope that is soon. I also can't wait until the swelling goes down. It has a little but some pants still don't fit right.
This whole no-colon-thing is really working out for me.
First road trip next week! :)
Ups with the downs
This weeks has been a roller coaster. I found out that, although Unemployment has been extended to 18 months, the great state of Georgia has not received the money to fulfill that bill. On the other hand, I got to say so long to my surgeon. If nothing goes wrong from here on out, we should never have to see each other again! :)
I do adore my surgeon and really admire his surgical ability but I'd much rather get on with my "normal" life. To say good-bye, I made a card in the shape of a butt that said, "Thanks! For saving my butt!" I thought is was appropriate...
I have been feeling so much better. According to Dr Nichols, I seem to be doing better than the average patient. I would say I go to the bathroom maybe 10 times a day, including twice during the night. The average patient is going more like twice as much. No more leaking or surprises. I do have some discomfort but nothing like colitis.
This week, I am gearing up for Thanksgiving! Family time and food. Who could ask for more?
I do adore my surgeon and really admire his surgical ability but I'd much rather get on with my "normal" life. To say good-bye, I made a card in the shape of a butt that said, "Thanks! For saving my butt!" I thought is was appropriate...
I have been feeling so much better. According to Dr Nichols, I seem to be doing better than the average patient. I would say I go to the bathroom maybe 10 times a day, including twice during the night. The average patient is going more like twice as much. No more leaking or surprises. I do have some discomfort but nothing like colitis.
This week, I am gearing up for Thanksgiving! Family time and food. Who could ask for more?
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
No soup for you!
Today I responded to a letter sent from the department of labor. The office seemed smaller than the first time I went there. I had the same purple folder that sat on the administrator's desk when the words, "I'm sorry" fell out of her mouth. This time the folder is packed with denials, appeals, job searches and extensions.
This time, like last time, I was told there are no more benefits for me.
As part of our loan modification, I am supposed to see a credit counselor. I had a phone appointment set up for this afternoon with hopes I would get home before the call. After I left the department of labor, I headed home and watched a couple episodes on Hulu. When the phone rang, I gathered all my documents to discuss our finances.
What came out of this appointment is that the only thing we can cut back on is our food. Because our credit is still in the 800's, we are not at the top of the list of people to help. I was told to just keep doing what we are doing. As if that is going to help...
This time, like last time, I was told there are no more benefits for me.
As part of our loan modification, I am supposed to see a credit counselor. I had a phone appointment set up for this afternoon with hopes I would get home before the call. After I left the department of labor, I headed home and watched a couple episodes on Hulu. When the phone rang, I gathered all my documents to discuss our finances.
What came out of this appointment is that the only thing we can cut back on is our food. Because our credit is still in the 800's, we are not at the top of the list of people to help. I was told to just keep doing what we are doing. As if that is going to help...
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Expect the unexpected
Things were going pretty well. I got all my tests run and registration completed. Unfortunately, there is always something.
CT scan showed a pelvic abscess... whatever that is. The doctors explained that it could be something- it could be nothing. Is that supposed to comfort someone? And because the surgery is so soon, we had to hear from the surgeon if it would interfere with the take-down surgery.
We decided to continue as planned with the surgery while the surgeon reviews the film. He couldn't tell where the abscess was so the day of surgery, my doctor hijacks my stretcher and hauls ass down the hall to the hospital CT facility. I guess it is an unusual sight to see a doctor wheeling a patient around. Everyone we passed in the hall ask, "You need help? You got that?" We had a deadline...
The first CT scan was administered from the mouth and with an ileostomy, that's where it ends. It can't go any further. Well, this time it was going from the bottom up... not fun. I always told people that the stoma is a kinked hose so the bottom part of it leads to my bottom. Honestly, I was never really sure but it made sense. I can tell you now! When they injected that fluid in my bum, my bag filled up FAST. I don't think she believed me when I said, "I can't hold it. Stop!" But when she saw my bag, she knew we were overflowing.
The film was read and I was off to surgery.
CT scan showed a pelvic abscess... whatever that is. The doctors explained that it could be something- it could be nothing. Is that supposed to comfort someone? And because the surgery is so soon, we had to hear from the surgeon if it would interfere with the take-down surgery.
We decided to continue as planned with the surgery while the surgeon reviews the film. He couldn't tell where the abscess was so the day of surgery, my doctor hijacks my stretcher and hauls ass down the hall to the hospital CT facility. I guess it is an unusual sight to see a doctor wheeling a patient around. Everyone we passed in the hall ask, "You need help? You got that?" We had a deadline...
The first CT scan was administered from the mouth and with an ileostomy, that's where it ends. It can't go any further. Well, this time it was going from the bottom up... not fun. I always told people that the stoma is a kinked hose so the bottom part of it leads to my bottom. Honestly, I was never really sure but it made sense. I can tell you now! When they injected that fluid in my bum, my bag filled up FAST. I don't think she believed me when I said, "I can't hold it. Stop!" But when she saw my bag, she knew we were overflowing.
The film was read and I was off to surgery.
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