Summer Sabbatical

We have recently come to the understanding that work is killing me. Not literally, but very much so figuratively. I've lost the excitement for life and I want it back. As with anything, Eli and I made a plan to fix it.

Step One: Take back my health-I've heard of friends having fertility issues for months and then getting pregnant after going Paleo. One friend was losing weight to get pregnant and on her way to fertility treatments found out she was pregnant. Of course, our mutual friend went Paleo after that and got pregnant on her first IVF cycle! I'm in. I gave up refined sugar and carbs such as bread, rice, grains, beans, corn and white potatoes. It wasn't easy at first, but now I'm getting the hang of it.

We aren't trying to stress me out with this diet, so if I mess up or "cheat," we roll with it as long as it is once in awhile. I can't remember when I felt better. Joint pain is gone; I'm able to walk a lot more and do gentle exercises (walk the dog or light yoga). Our food is fresh and the kitchen sink is full of dirty dishes every night. I love cooking; I love eating; it was a no brainer.

Step Two: Quit my job- I knew the news wouldn't be taken lightly but I had to get out, by any means necessary. I was over worked, totally stressed and not happy. Now that I'm treating myself better, I need to be treated better. I broke the news to the boss and we were able to strike a deal. Part time, reduced responsibility, and work mostly from home for a pretty good portion of my regular salary. I'll take it!

Step Three: Summer Sabbatical! We want to get away. We are packing up the old Honda Fit (lovingly referred to as Fitty) and going out west! We'll have about ten days of just me and the hubs and the open road. We'll stop along the way, visit friends, camp, hike, eat, sleep, and of course poop (I can't help it, I don't have a colon!). Thus, our Dirtbag Summer.

Dirtbag trip 2015 over the Grand Canyon

We are bumping up our Dirtbaggedness this year. Last year we booked hotels/B&Bs and flew to Vegas to start the trip. This year, we are driving from Atlanta to Colorado. Living out of the car for so long (as the old folks we have become) requires a little more creature comforts than we used to pack. We are outfitting Fitty to be an amazing little camper! All DYI! We hope you follow our journey into the gorgeous sunset of our Dirtbag Summer!

Building begins here!

Fresh Green Bean Salad

Our green beans have been BOOMING! lately. I am so excited to have free, fresh veggies to whip up with dinner. I was making Lemon Pepper Tuna Tacos last night and HAD to use up my GBs. I checked the handy Internet, and after consulting my fridge and pantry, I came up with this little ditty. 

Green Bean and Cherry Tomato Salad

Green beans (It's just the two of us so I didn't need many)
Halved (freshly picked) cherry tomatoes
Onion- maybe half of a medium one?
Equal parts vinegar and olive oil
A little bit of sugar or honey (I used about 1/2 teaspoon? Maybe one tsp?)
Salt and pepper to tasted
Throw in some herbs if you got 'em!

I steamed cut green beans and onion. I kept the onion in larger pieces while steaming so I wouldn't lose them in the pot. I pulled out the onion first and chopped it then the green beans when they were a suitable tenderness- however you like. 

In a bowl, I mixed the vinegar and oil and added the sugar- whisk until the sugar dissolves or the honey in well incorporated. Then stir in the GBs and tomatoes. Chill for a little bit and you got a great side salad for a picnic or any summer meal!

Side note: I've read that the green beans change color because of the acid in the vinegar but I didn't experience this. Also, Eli felt it was too vinegary so maybe I'm a freak but I like it that way. If you alter the amount of vinegar, I won't know and as long as it is not too much less than the oil, it shouldn't be a big deal. Make it your own! ;)

I was in a hurry when I made this but also consider roasting the tomatoes before tossing... how great would THAT be!?

Family Heirloom Gardening

I have very fond memories of my dad spending the day with us on little projects around the house when we were growing up. It sounds so suburban-middle class, but that's what we were. I keep those lessons with me everyday. He would paint with us and teach us perspective; we would mow the lawn and he'd tell us about yard maintenance. One day, I remember it was just me and my Poppie. He told me about the California Golden Poppy. It was our state flower and he loved having them all over our yard!

This day, he had cut some of the flowers and was working with them over the dining room table. He had a plate with tiny black dots all over it. He was harvesting the seeds. I don't remember much of the lesson verbatim, but I can still remember the feeling of stretching across the table with my knees in my dinner chair. Stretching to see what he was doing with these tiny, little seeds. I remember him putting a clear glass bowl over the lot of seeds and telling me that they were going to POP! And that would be our next poppy flower.

This memory is why I call him Poppie today and one day my children will do the same. And when they ask why, I will tell them this story.

Fast forward to many, many years later, my cousin Katie starts up her own seed business. She is crafty, money smart and LOVES to garden. Last time we were in Michigan visiting, she had everyone, including our aunt, sitting on the floor over newspaper separating seeds from the dead heads of plants. She explained how she separated them, packaged them, labeled them and sold them at the farmer's market and on-line. She is crazy-imaginative and so meticulous.

In our garden this year, we have new tomato plants next to plants that re-sprouted from last year! We have some of cousin Katie's seeds and some plants we got from the local farmer's market. This year we started off with Bibb lettuce and a red Romain. We ate off the lettuce for a good month or so before it bolted. ARRRG! I tried different tricks to keep it from bolting so early but I just couldn't keep up with the growth. So, I pulled some plants to make way for new vegetables but I left some of the bolted lettuce to see if I could get seeds from them- Like cousin Katie does. ;)

After weeks of this over-grown lettuce, I saw flowers come and go and today noticed little tufts of fluff on the end of the old flowers. After searching the trusty Internet, I found out it was time to harvest the seeds.

I pulled the fluffy heads and collected them in a small dish. I brought them inside and, like my dad, I sat at the dining room table to separate the seeds from the rest of the plant. What a great haul!

I, of course, planted some right away in plastic cups and brought them inside to water and start growing. I labeled the rest of the seeds to plant later in the year or even next spring!

I'll be charting the progress to see how long it takes to germinate and harvest. I can't believe Katie does all this with TONS of plants!!

We'll see how it turns out! I'll keep you posted.

UPDATE: After a week or so of watering, I found only one sprout in my seven cups. I did some more research and it looks like lettuce seeds need a cold snap to become viable. So, I threw my other seeds in the fridge. We'll see what happens. ;)

Silver Linings and Thorns

The only way to get through the roller coaster of UC, is to look for the silver linings. Everything will come and go. Even though, sometimes it seems like things just keep going... The pain will subside at some point.

The problem with living your life like that, is that when you get a rose, you often see the thorns.

Over the last week, my bathroom visits have drastically reduced. At night, especially, I'll get up ONCE! The whole night. I haven't been able to do that after a normal sized dinner for I don't know how long!

While in the bathroom at 3:35am the other day, I was thinking about this. Immediately after congratulating myself, in my mind, I got a twinge. Twinges are normal; Gurgles are normal; Any odd abdominal noise or feeling has become normal. But this twinge awoke a fear in me.

The thorn- What if I have a kink in my J-pouch!? This isn't UNcommon. Most people with the surgery find they have a kink at some point. It sounds painful and one of the first signs is slow movements...

By the time I woke up, I had forgotten about the twinge but it made me think, when will I not have the "thorns" popping up? When will it just be a normal tummy ache?

To make it worse- My heart palpitations are back! What is that!? Hahahaha

Denied Worker's Compensation

Today, I received an email from my worker's compensation adjuster. In the email, she thanked me for my patience and then bluntly said, "there will be no claims paid."

I immediately sent it to my Human Resources department and the Executive Director. I had been talking to my old supervisor all morning about how difficult it is to forgive the woman who choked me when I feel that I have all the repercussions for the assault she did onto me. She assured me that the woman is deeply sorry and she hasn't been in the office until recently.

Of course, after the email, I was sobbing. I met the ED in the hallway who said, "HR will know how to appeal it. I'm sorry to hear that," as he cleaned his oatmeal bowl and quickly walked out of the room. I went to the HR's office- Empty. I sat on the couch and waited for her return from, what I assume was, her smoke break. "What's going on?" she asked as though she had been forced to say it. I told her I was denied worker's compensation and her response was, "Yeah, I got the email." Really? Then why'd you ask? Why else would I come into your office? Certainly not for a social visit.

We called WC and the adjuster said I was denied medical bill reimbursement because I did not go to WC approved doctors. I need a referral from the doc-in-the-box they send us to for Worker's Comp and preliminary drug testing. Even if I go now, they will not make it retro-active.

I went to that doc-in-the-box and saw the same doctor that evaluated my neck injury hours after the assault. We had a heated conversation where I learned that, despite my lack of a medical degree, I should have told him that I needed to see a therapist when I saw him in September. Then he would have referred me to one but now, he can't say to go to a therapist because I am already seeing one; he wants me to stay with this therapist because he knows the whole story already... He suggested I go back to my HR. Yes, the lady who told me to go to this doctor and asked me, "What do you want me to do? You act like I have some power in all this!" Human Resources at its finest.

I am calling every attorney I know, gathering all my documents, apply for government funded assistance because the company, that my organization pays to cover their employees after things like assaults, decided not to pay out money that has been paid to them for this exact reason.

When the assault happened, all the supervisors were happy to help and expressed how I "deserved" compensation for this attack. Now, no one feels it is there job to make it happen.

There is light at the end of the tunnel; This tunnel is just really long.

Homemade, homegrown salsa verde

Mmmm. As the winter approaches, we are coming to our last harvests. Today was our tomatillos and pepper.
I roasted the tomatillos and pepper, after halving them, until blackened. In a pot I added olive oil, onion and garlic. I chunked the harvest and added it to the pot. If I had lime, I'd add it now but I just added some salt and veggie stock. Simmered; blended; simmer until thick. Booyah! It is amazing with my black bean quesadillas.

Bloody Mary Costume

I was on the phone with my friend, Mary, deciding what we should be for Halloween. We played off her name and favorite drink and came up with Bloody Mary! The drink!

So, she's going to put celery sticks in her hair and I came up with crocheted olives!! The larger one could be a necklace or another hair accessory, maybe a bracelet. Total costume picture to come! :)

Back to the grind

Last week I was offered another (temporary) position at work at the same rate. Because our offices are moving, they will hire me to aid in the moving- organizing, shredding, files... until the end of the year.

I have some apprehension about going back. The idea of the office where participants can just show up, frightens me. The other night I was thinking and preparing myself for going back as I laid in bed about to fall asleep. Before I knew it, I could picture myself moving a box in the corner of the office, turning around and seeing her. Blocking me from the door. And then I felt her hands around my neck again. It triggered a panic attack, as you can imagine. I woke up Eli and took a anxiety pill to calm me down.

Since then, I've been trying to rationalize the likelihood of that happening. I know it would be very unlikely. I know I can prevent it and I know if it did happen, I would be able to call out for help.

I am still nervous about going and thought about it all night.

Here's hoping!