Thursday, July 22, 2010

Another chance

I need just one more chance at a baby.

We have been trying for a couple months now. My PCP, who met me once, suggested we wait nine months; my OB who knows me from last year is very excited that we are trying again. Last year was devastating. I hope I never lose another baby.

Every month, we get our hopes up. I stop with the coffee and... that's my only "vice" really- if you can call it that! I tell more and more people that we are "trying". I come up with new reasons why this month would be better than last month to get pregnant. I research the due date to see who's birthday the baby would be born around. I become that crazy lady that talks about the cluster of cells in her belly she can't feel but "knows" is there...

Every time I get my period, I feel like I did last year. I feel like we are never going to be parents. All my friends who have been through this tell me that it gets better; that it will happen one day. What if it doesn't?

1 comment:

  1. sometimes you have to give up before you get what you want. try getting away for a weekend too. xoxo.